I'm a Loser

I am a loser. I got all psyched about starting this Blog thing-a-ma-jig, did it for like, six weeks, and then....well....

I am a LOSER!!!

Guess what started my Blog lapse?

Gaining.

Wait. Didn't I just say I'm a loser?

Yea, well, not in the weight category.

My Blog lapse came after I weighed in with my coach only to be up FIVE FLIPPIN' POUNDS!!!

I was so peeved. Five pounds. Like, what the heck? If I swore (which I don't) then I would insert some pretty flashy expletives here.

Ok, so maybe it was true that I was totally pre-menstral. That might account for a pound or two. But, come oooon. That is such a LAME excuse. I gained five pounds because I ate to much (yea, pretty much couldn't shovel it in fast enough) and didn't write anything I ate down (who in their right mind would EVER write down all of that crap anyway...sheesh...)

So, up to this point, I am thinking I should go back and re-title this post "I'm a Gainer"

But the following week, I lost 1.2 pounds. Then the following week, another 0.8. I kinda lost track, until one week, two weeks ago, I was down FIVE POUNDS! Yea. DOWN. My coach is like, so happy for me, hits the "Easy Button" he has sitting on his desk (I hate that dumb thing) and then sets off this other annoying gadget he has on is desk that sounds like a cheering crowd. Then he asks, "How do you feel about that?"

How do I FEEL about it? The truth? I feel like CRAP! I merely lost the five pounds I had GAINED a few weeks prior. Funny thing is, on my last Blog entry, I weighed in at 266.4. Guess how much I weighed at my last weigh in? 266.4. SO, I have basically been toying around with the same stupid five pounds for weeks!

Then, it gets worse. The following week, he cancels our session. Sick. And you know what they say: "When the cats away, the mice will play."

Or, in this case, eat.

THEN, I conveniently have a fabulous excuse to cancel on him the following week. Which just happens to have been this last Monday. Like, two days ago. So now we're all caught up, it's Wednesday night, I weigh in 5 days from now, I have dropped the ball on my Blog, and I have not been eating or exercising right.

Like I said.

I'm a loser.

Bet you all didn't think you were gonna get invited to this BIG FAT PITY PARTY, did'ja?

So, now I'm now scared to death to face him, the scale, and seriously, can't think of anything brilliant to say on this Blog. Why not sing?

"Eeeevery party has a pooper that's why I invited me...party pooper...party pooper...."

Sing along, why don't ya?

So. I am a loser. I really want to be one too. A loser loosing weight.

I am going to force myself to say something positive.

Here I go.

AHEM.

I GET to weigh in five days from now.

I have the OPPORTUNITY to eat well for the next five days.

I have the PRIVILEGE of owning a 24 Hour Fitness membership which I can use at will.

I am BLESSED to have a wonderful coach who is patient and kind but challenges me and will see this through with me as long as I am willing to show up.

I have the ABILITY to walk the blonde any time I choose.

Sigh....

Ok. Party is over.

I am a loser. Really. I am.

Now I am going to go start acting like one.